Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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