I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
