I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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