She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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