Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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