then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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