is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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