we made out on top of his cat.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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