You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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