Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My dick has a subreddit
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
