Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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