So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
