he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
