My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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