I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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