Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
