I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
