So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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