we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
vagina is talking i cant
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
