FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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