@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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