'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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