just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
