i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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