you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize