hell yes lets make some ravioli
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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