eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
