I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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