Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize