so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
