New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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