You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
