we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
