i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was confusing and full of hummus
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
as a side note pls kill me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
