peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Found your dick twin last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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