i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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