i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
