do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I love having hate sex.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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