I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
