she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
