Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
