i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
