I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
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some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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