I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize