I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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