I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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