omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
