the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
