There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
