I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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