he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
