So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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