so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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